Thursday, December 29, 2011

Ji mui mun....

I'm glad to have one group of my great and best ji mui....
No matter wat happened before between us, we stay close to each..
I had never regret...
Maybe between us there are stil belongs to someone else..
But we never care..
At last once we gather, we enjoyed, we shared...
That's wat I like to have it...
Ji mui mun...
U all are really the best of the best,.
I can never have it again..

When showing among ji mui...
We speak out wat we think..
No doubt..
We show wat we want...
No po po ma ma..
We never act..never pretend..
We say the truth..
We present every single part of us...
Even when we are in anger..
We knew...
When we are in trouble..
We solved....together...
This is wat called ji mui...

When u cry, not only the shoulder to lend..
But the scolding and the advise...
They knew too much..and they know it's not worth to put in tears...
When u angry, wit the Missy anger,,,
They say in another way,,
They say u pattern..
They shoot u directly...
Bcos they know, this is wat our relation build...
This is the truth care from ji mui....
Not that kind holding ur hand say u are always right..
Not that kind push u until the top of roof say u are so pro...
Not that kind comes to u when they need..
Not that kind run off when u need them back....
Seriously, not that kind ask u to borrow money....
Luckily I'm not in that status yet, we are stil between teenage and adult...
Enjoy life! Our wonderful secondary higher secondary teenage dream among my ji mui mun!!!

Puchong life

No ones know I guess..
The major reason causing me to stay in puchong..
Do u miss ur family?
Do u live independently?
Do u able to get used to it?
Do u feel it's far?
Do u stil keep in touch wit us?

My dear...
I did.. I can.. Trust me..
So many days I stayed in puchong, I had get used to it..
Dont u guys know?
These are the days I wait for 19years..
Maybe not that long, but at least ten...

And now the situation asking me to back my "hometown" for 4days..
Honestly, it's suffering..
I know if my family saw this they wil hurted..
But, I really feel so reluctant to return there and watch they history..
8years before..I had live so tough..
U won't know, or maybe u did..
And it began, on the day i left my last paper...
U all never care..no, u did..
I know it's hard to controlled and u guys used me as a bridge to start the fight..
Im hurt..
So many years...my character was silent,,,
No, I'm grown..not for this year..
I voiced out, and I hope she could understand..
So long, i never wan any give back from her, no..
The only I hate is only you, madam kang!!
Stop destroying.. We are all adult right now....

Im really getting my life in puchong..
Yup, if i have my own transport wil be better..
But I dont feel any lonely here..
Seriously, obviously, really...
I'm happy here =)

Ex..

For those we loved before....
I had truthly love u..seriously..
For my first love..
I never known until now, did u love me before..
I hope u did..
But we break off too sudden,.
Without knowing ur reason..
Wat happened between us?
Tell me the truth..
Wat makes u made this decision?
I'm stil keeping the present that I failed to present u..
Wonder when can I pass it to u..
Have the chance or no?
One day I met u....
U got a cigarette on ur mouth,,
Are u too stressful in ur current life?
Hope you're fine...

For you, kame..
I know our relation doesn't goes long..
Since we had a far distance love..
I know i had a very bad attitude..
I had thought too much..
I knew..really..
But I never know that I had never think wrong..
Wat I predicted had came true...
Friend, not I think too much this time..really..
It's happening...can u guys believe?
He betrayed me..he did..
But why? He stil protecther?
He said she was not the third person..
But he wanted me to be the third person..
Wat the......hell!!!
But I forgive u..because I did know ur pain as wat u told me..
That day I met u..
U are wit ur girl..
The feeling was...why don't u tel me earlier...
I dunno who's to face it u know....
Thats it... I won't meet u again...
Until I had really no feeling about it.....

One night..I care...

It was yesterday night...
When I accidentally scroll down my new feeds..
I saw something...
Actually It did not attract me teo click it..but the feeling...
Maybe I'm bored on that moment??
I saw somthing..........
I saw the blog of him, the mimosa pudica...
I saw in one of the articles....
He wrote that he regrets on a girl for the past 4years..
I'm wonder..who was she?
Did he meant me? But I'm nit the 4 but past 5years...
Wait...
Why am I care whether the person is me or the girl that causes our relation end?
I'm too young on that moment...
But once I saw things related to him, I'll stil had the feeling...
Jz like that day we met in the stall...
I pretend mtg, but lastly I felt when he SMS me..
And the other day...
I met him wit my friend, we sat down and chat..
I jz silent...
I dunno did this meant I angry,.
He wrote the girl did...
I didn't...
I think I'm not...
But then why am i care?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Miss you

I'm clear with wat happened to me these few days..
Seriously, I'm fall to it.. Once i realized I can't run out of my vision..
It's been quite a long time..we had a start..unpredictable chatting..
But I was thinking that is it my own problem? Am I think too much?
I worry i did.. Bcos I had felt..
When I read back all the msg, I didnt delete it..I saved it.. And once I read it, I smile..
Wat am I doing? Oh god.. Pull me out....
I know I'm not good enuf to be that character, I'm not suit..so I chose to silent..
But this few days...after I heard the news..I realized we had lost contact..
Are u stil there?
Can I have ur care again?
Where r u?
Why after u confirm the truth to me, u lost?
Or I'm only the one who thought too much again?
Or from the beginning, I'm already wrong, u had never look at me, even once......
Really hope it's not only my dream..
Hope u can feel it.. Seriously......

Sunday, June 5, 2011

love article..

这篇文章很有意思。。
你最爱的人往往没有选择你;
最爱你的人往往不是你爱的。。。

没有人是故意要变心的。。
他爱你的时候是真的爱你;
他不爱你的时候也是真的。。
他爱你的时候没有办法假装不爱;
他不爱你的时候也无法假装爱你。。。

你好吗?

你最近过得好吗?
你还是老样子吗?
为什么你们总爱这样问。。
我不明白。。
以前,你会抱着我问我好吗?
你会带点歉意带点内疚。。
我会心软,我不会推开你。。
这是我一直失败的。。
可是有一次,我坚决推开你,你明白了。。
虽然过后还是有你不断的问候,可是我已明白放下的定义。。

怎么知道,最近我又遇到了另一个他。。
他又是问了我你好吗。。?
他原来还有想起我的时候。。
这是浮现在我脑海的第一句话。。

我过得很好。。
因为你们的离开,我更坚强。。
因为你们的放弃,我明白真正的道理。。
因为你们的责备,我成长得更多。。
因为你们的放手,我学会熬过难关。。
可是我依然有伤痕。。
我依然会害怕。。
我依然有防备。。
我依然担心下一个他会一样。。
我依然没有信心去接受。。
我依然过着没有名分的生活。。

感情

看见朋友失恋了。。心里很不舒服。。
原本以为是一段坚固的感情,可是还是有难念的经。。。

有个人疼有个人关心,其实真的需要用名分去决定吗??
或许我是个女生。。
或许我太过飘浮不定。。

但是当我回忆起短暂的初恋,我还是很怀念。。
不管是那一段。。我都绝对相信自己是认真的。。
只不过自己没那个福气一起走到最后。。

哭泣

我相信眼泪是会满的。。
小时候,表妹哭了,我问问小姑,为什么她哭??
小姑告诉我,一个人如果眼泪装满在眼睛时,就会落下来。。
所以她不是不喜欢什么东西而哭泣咯??
但是我知道,其实她不喜欢她的玩具被一个陌生的小孩拿了。。。

那现在的我一直记得那番话。。
因为有时候,我会落泪。。我会哭。。
没有原因。。
只是可能藏在心里太久了。。
当遇到适当的时候,就会释放。。
只要落了泪,就不会有东西在喉咙中打滚。。
那种感觉很不好。。
当然,依赖的我还是会希望有人在我身旁陪伴我的泪水。。。。

命运

你相信命运吗??
你认为它灵吗??
你会为它做一切它使唤的吗??
就只因为宁可信其有不可信其无??
有些人害怕。。有些人担心。。
有些人乐观。。有些人固执。。
其实他们都没错啊。。
只不过。。。
我觉得很奥妙。。
又觉得是个坏东西。。
因为它会让人带着忐忑生活。。
它会让人心里作用。。
它??若不准确,为何还可以留世间那么久呢??

是那杯茶淡了乏味了,
还是其实它从来不曾浓厚过?

还是这一切是我发现得太迟了?

我自己

想得开的人往往不是那么样的。。
可是真的说出内心世界的人往往不是悲观的那一派。。

明白世间的残酷,往往是在人生终点前才领悟的。。
我是属于这一个??
不。。
我只不过是我自己。。
我会痛哭,我会恨我自己。。
我会大笑,我会明白该懂的道理。。
我会了解种种的来因,可是我就是做不到。。
做不到要我自己积极乐观看开。。
我努力学习。。
我了解人生的意义。。
我不憎恨他人。。
我原谅所有。。
就像是背叛我的他,我依然感到荣幸。。
就像是憎恨我的他,我依然给他微笑。。
就算是我爱过但被伤害的他,我依然接受。。
可是,我总是有着不好的预感。。。

truth..

seriously,
it's not that easy to ask yourself not to care on a person you did care for it....
and i believe,
it's not simply for a person to put the care on another too...

everybody did somethings for a reason..
even a person is in fake, there is still a heart to push it...
if you care a person, how can you forced yourself not to??
it's hurt....
if you hate a person, how can you treat the person nicely as usual??
it's suffering!!

so i know it's all from the heart....
and the first step is always true~

dear...

dear~
it's bcoz we are not growing up..
it's maybe we are too young to be together..

kame..
we unable to overcome those obstacles..
we unable to be matched up everythings..
we are in the different thinking...

dear...
you had melted my heart..
but i did not allow you coming..
why am i lack of confident..
but i know i'm right..
even i know there're no more chances to hear you call me again..
i'm stil appreciate the moment you treat me as how you loved me =)

thanks for support :)

the feeling is just like....
erm....
it's hard to describe..
but is waiting around to see the pop out..
and to hear the ringing..
and to feel the nearby....
then i'll smile =)
felt so grateful to have you beside^^
even is not whenever i need, but at least i know there is another way to be speak..
and i know i'm not facing all of this alone =)

love song

every love story, there'll be a love song along...
and once the song is played,
the heart is touched..
and i know the song is only for you and me ^^
do you still remember??maybe you dont..

七里香- bringing a memory that i dunno is it called as love...
爱的奇迹- starting my love but it ended slowly..
烛光晚餐- a little memory passing over my life..
对你有一点动心- is the truth heart i can feel..
nothing on you - memorable memory that end without ending..

what is the next?? i dont wish there is anymore...
if not i dare not to open the music anymore!!!!!!

wish from life..

wish to gossip around for the whole day..
but i know..
if we never attend to the sch..
where and how am i able to get such fantastic gang to gossip??
it's the same.....
wish to sleep for the whole day..
wish to lay on my bed and enjoy the relax...
but if....
if i never put effort in my life, in my works...
how am i able to feel the tired?
how am i able to feel the sleepy?
so i know...
we wont realised about that..
if we never put effort in everythings...
dont blame, bcoz u never realised it's much more worthy in your life ^^

happiness

even jz a simple present, suddenly felt i had been appreciate =)
the happiness is deep from my heart to the smile on my face ^^
sometimes, happiness is that easy and simple..
even the truth can be seen can be guess, i'm still felt so grateful :)
no matter who wil the person be, thanks a lot ^^
i will stil appreciate =)

true person..

i believed...
a true person not to be changed easily..
did i predicted wrongly??
but in my mind, that is always right..
when the sigh observed the movement of them.....
honestly i know my heart is sank..
jz like a heavy load sank under the sea..
is totally no floating at all....
even i appreciate the past...
i just can smile =)

draft~

just give me some time to figure it out..
every draft i had did in my phone..
jz bcoz the line is just like snail...
and my mood is flying all the way unstable...
wish to type it all out...
jz wish to share with all of you ^^

life^^

i tot i wont be blogging again..
but finally i cant and i continue my blog..
jz bcoz of such busy life..
form6 life is pretty different..
and sometimes i love it =)
maybe my results was not that good as last..
maybe i would sad for it..
but i know there are somethings else much more valueable to be rmbr..
that is those happy moment i had..
those wonderful classmate i had..
those best teachers i met..
those memories........never forget about it..

life is short..jz like the candle we studied about...
once the candle is finished..there are no more fire to be seen..
why dont we enjoy the moment candle are lightnening??
it's nice.. it's great..
but it seems to be dimmed.....
b4 the end....it lights slowly...
no..why dont we light up even brighter b4 the end???
it may bring happiness to ppl..
but....
if suddenly u died off..ops! darken suddenly..........
all the ppl around wil felt very surprise, very sad, very down, very very disappoint......
this is wat life meant....
in my mind, i always think that, if u dim b4 end, ppl wil try to die off you and kill you...
but how should we choose???
life always full of roads and way...
and this recalled me the poem, the road not taken.....
i always missed the road...
though i never realised i should appreciate the road i'm walking now..
but it's glad i know i did not...so i'll make myself to the right way right now^^
you too ^^

Friday, February 25, 2011

mentos ^^

during tuition~~~
i'm not paying attention....
dont scold me first lorrr...
i means not pay attention a few second...
2 and a half hour....ate 1 strip of mentos...by 3 of us^^
and i'm dreaming.....
bcoz i'm thinking.....
i wish to write a few words inside the mentos paper xD
at last.......i wrote only one word =)
hmmm...
actually...i jz wish to write : "i hope you're stil my ji mui..."

Friday, February 18, 2011

sad + angry

sad day sad day...
jz bcoz of wat?? ishh!!!!
wat happened to me?
really bcoz wat i heard??
really bcoz wat she told??
my godness....
am i controlling my emotional until i reached my blog???
did i done well???
i'm sad throughout the day u know..
hey dude, are u ok??
talking ppl beside the ppl...
u really tot the ppl wont hear about that??
i did ok...!!
ok la..dont scold me perasan la..
but then....dont point me so obviously k??
can u please dont??

wats wrong with me??
am i wrong since the beginning??
u may think it is..but then not right??
maybe for u really is....
but why u told her so??
wat means by cant be fren??
so u means that is my problem so that our status be so??
so u means that is i dont wan to be fren?
is it??
speak it out loud!!!!
i wan to know the truth!!!!
i'm fine to date out and settle this misunderstood..
i'm sure that there is the misstood..
haiz..
i'm sad u know...u dont know...
u're the first to say that have a temporary "coolation"..
aren't you??
if u're now to reply "no" , ok, fine..fine!!!!
i bet all the evidence i got it in my dear blog..
please refer back ok....

i'm fine since the first k..
i tot nothing wil happen..
u're the one who choose to do so..jz to quit the "jack daniel"..

i agree with u but u treat me like a FOOL!!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

valentine~

special valentine's day~
hmmm..i tld myself to write something here..haha..
and today is the 2nd year i celebrate valentine..
jz to write some feeling here..
and my feeling is just like.......normal..
i know i wont get anything i wont wait for anyone..
and today was too tired for me..
so, i had slept in my valentine's day xD
then i received a call..
bcoz miss poon going to her and her sister valentine....
so i need to fetch the 2naughty back home alone~
omg!! 2monkeys...over my valentine with 2noisy fellow~
actually i think not everyone had celebrate right?
i'm sure not the only one.. =)
but this year my sister had her target to celebrate..
even she invite me to be along..but i sure very seng mok lor..haha..
maybe bcoz got 20% i stil believe to receive call at the night..
haha..always give myself a wish and i knw it wont come true..nvm..
bcoz when i wish it i feel happy..so...the happy 1second also not bad ma ^^
valentine recall me last few years...wat present i had received??
i really appreciate..until now..even you are her now =)
happy valentine to all of you who really care for me..
i cant accompany you all to continue for the rest of life..
but i stil wish all of you can happy forever in every valentine..
i rmbr got a ppl promise me to over every valentine with me..
anyhow, i does not believe any promise anymore..
1valentine 2valentine even how many, i'll still appreciate but not ask for more =)

Friday, February 4, 2011

great talk~

why i seems having a lot of story a lot of diary??
haha..
and i'm stil happy to have a fren to share =)
at first is u..is happy u know..
i tot i found the one who same with me..
i tot i found the one to hear my sadness..
i tot i found the one who can speak out his sad when he need..
i tot i'm the one can share all the truth feeling..
but then is more than that..
and i had control at first..
but he continue the wrong feeling, maybe..
i never confirm his feeling..
i pretent i dunno jz to keep the relation..
but it had also end up with nothing..
and the time had diluted everythings..
if u really life better that that, happy to hear that..keep it up =)

only 2months i knew him better..
and i had a great talk actually..
everytime when i'm really down...
but then is stil the same feeling for human being..
when a person can trust on you..
when a person think of u when sad..
when a person put u as the first to call when weak..
you'll felt the warm..
(not bcoz the person sad and u happy with that la..for sure xD)
but that day when i received the call..
"do u free to talk? i had something to share..."
even how busy am i, is still willing to spend a little more..
the happy moment is the ending is always happy..
is happy to change the sadness to happiness..
as i know i'm the sad one always..
the sad one can make another sad one to be happy, wow!
dont praise i know..haha..
anyhow, i not dare to guarantee anything anymore..
how i know is the same ending lateR?
how i know i never have the forever chance to have a great talk partner?
so...i jz appreciatee the moment i having =)

after 7months~

is a weird case u know...
haiz...
wat do u want from me???
is really a question i wish to ask u long time ago..
but then the feeling is like..omg...
why always when there is a chance to meet up with u,
"bibir membeku lidah terkelu" ???
i cant even speak out and my weakness had come up too..
all of my mind had controlled by u..and i have ntg to say..
until u left..and all the wuestion began again...
wat the shXX!
so wat i do to??haiz..
u know wat..is really complicated..
already more than half year..
and it's even longer than my first love experience..
but then the situation is different i know..
actually who am i for u??
i know i had made it complicated..but u add on pula...
everytime i wish to clear it, u'll escape from that..
everytime i tot is the end, u'll continue the story..
everytime i let it be, u'll make it weird...
should i send u a wishes?
no i think..
should i inform u??
no i think..
should i care ur respond?
no i think...
but i did all of the NO..

if this is wat u'll do to me..
even when i'm really ur certified girl..
sorry to say that, i wont allow u to walk in my life..
even i had touched ; even i had cried ; even i had liked..

refresh back wa u had done to me..
is really more and touched..
but is that showing ur love to me?
ya, beginning ya..
now? i dunno..can u tell me??

wat is your thinking when we miscontact for a month?
wat is your feeling when received my msg?
wat is your feeling when i greet u?
wat is your feeling when decide to date me?
wat is your feeling when i attend ur date after miscontact?
wat is your feeling when u hold my hand?
wat is your feeling when u hug me tight??

you know wat you doing? aren't you??

the conclusion i got is,
when u never see me,
u'll never rmbr who am i..

longest winter~

yeah yeah~
it seems the longest winter wothout u~~
i didn't know where to turn to~~
haha!!
its really a long time i never update my blog..
anyhow, for someone is really jz short moment..
but then for me, these short long period had reall brought lots of memories..
hmmm..
i think i'm really getting older than others..
dunno why always my thinking is surrounded around the word "is ok "nvm" "let it be"
am i crazy?
but i think is fine..
wat can i say about??
first is you...ya no doubt..
wat can i say is, time can relief..ya is true..
and it can also dilute the relation the friendship..
i'm thinking that there was misunderstood btwn us..dunno wil u think of that..
anyhow, i know u life better and me too right?
wish u happy rabbit year ya^^ a new year can really make a new start =)