NS's life~

hmmm...wat to say..
in NS i found that i changed much..

first of all, i knw many new fren by my own..
as u all who knw me know that i'm a person who duno or anti social~
something like that la.. but on the first day i went to camp, i can make fren easily..

maybe bcoz everyone also alone there n need a fren..
so as our target is the same, then we made frenzz..
so glad i met some of the best fren..
some of them is from klang too..

but i quite sad n disappointed that i cant knw more fren from other places..
as i knw, the camp only received students from selangor, kl and perak~

wat the XXXXXXXX.. the camp's location at perak but stil got perak ppl got choose to perak camp.. so every week their parents wil visit them n make us felt jealous~
shit! but nvm la.. when their parents came, we wil tumpang kasih n eat with them..haha >.<

ok..i think the most benefits for us is.....is we got free lunch there..
everythings we ate are free~haha ^^ the activities actually not bad la..

but if wan us kawad under the sun with the thick askar wear........................
it really changed everyone to darknessssss...not only the skin dark~the mental of us also dark~~
fainting all the time..
even wearing nice baju kebudayaan, we need to kawad too..ya la, disiplin~
so far so good lor~

hmmm..the place we sleep stil clean n neat..good~
the toilet~~~~~~ok lor.. "mei hiam beh pai" "ai hiam kanasai" lehhhhh ~

my frenzzz!!!! miss u all...

hey, my frenzzz.. i really miss u all very much...
haiz...in NS..... i felt myself changed much..
really hope that my fren wont forgot me~
that day i got my phone n sms one of my fren..
she (jing) said that she so miss me.. that second i really felt touch..~
i really miss all of u..
i felt so sad..bcoz i couldn't celebrate my cny with all of u..
so wasted..~ need to blame my NS~
the holiday gave to us are so less..only 4days..
wat to do....i need to back my hometown in penang~
so i straight from my camp back to penang..but then no time to return klang d..
sry my fren.. i really miss all of u and wish to meet u all..
but so sry.. i cant... the time not allow..
i also din apply for longer holiday~
bcoz 17feb we wil start M16!!!!yeahhhh~
i dunwan to miss this chance..
i being that black now i think is worth if i got M16 b4..rite??
hope u all wont forgot me n wont blame me...
duno hw u all's life for the past 1month..
i jz knw that my life in NS is the same everyday..and i already suit myself in it d..
fren....miss u all a lot...

something about love~

i felt somethings after my spm..
i felt i had grow up..be more mature...
when i tidy up our memory, i remembered many things..
i felt last time is a childish game.. is an immature game..
but i felt after this love, i having a tough mission to back into true love...
i changed..
i forgot him..really..i did it...
i dun care him..
i can live without him..from begining i did it too..
i love myself so much..
i dress up myself..
i care my image..
i proved to myself finally that i really put down every sadness or hateness..
yeah~~!!!

happy?? yaya^^

somemore..........i felt something.... i miss him....erm..maybe cannot use miss..but i wish to have a even higher level of relationship with him....

happy go lucky^^ yahoooooorayyyyy!!!

the theif~

hmmmmm~ duno who always wil visit my blog....??
anyway, jz wan to inform i wont so often update my blog..so sorry to let u all have a disappointed feeling after view my blog every time..

haiz..ask me y???haizz..sad to say it..
i also forgot did i said it b4...

the theif..is it theif??i also duno whether my broken english simply used the word..
actually i jz suspect is him la...but my sense told me ya, is him..
but i also din saw him b4..haiz..
i duno y he wan break in my hse..i also not staying in banglo..
but maybe jz bcoz not banglo so he can break in without escapre from cctv..
wat to do...haiz...
i lost my pc on that day.....so sad..
evendol that lettop not mine(was my sis), but i stil sad with it..
haiz..i sad bcoz of inside have all my documents, photos,memory!!!!!!!
all gone in jz that second... :(
so hurt so sad..
i sad bcoz of that is my only line to connect, to have fun, to relax, and also to revise!!!!!!!
i hate him...even a little step pull out my memory on him...
b4 having spm...i need my lettop to do my revise...
looking my fren all transferring others state's trial paper to do or spot the question...
wat can i do?? stay at home to face the book... i really felt sad...
all the file inside my pen drive but i cant do anythings wit it...
i went my fren hse, this is the only way..but, ppl's hse also not suit to stay for so long..
and also not felt comfort when using the pc...
i sad bcoz of the lettop is a very very very old fashion, old version, old model, stil very heavy to carry...y the ppl stil wan to steal it.......??!!!???!!!???!!!!!!!!
he got the RMxx.xx , but destroy my whole future....!!!!
maybe i said like this is too "kua zhang", but i really felt that...

anyhow, this case past so long and i ended my spm too...BUT, i stil hate him..
if have a chance to meet him, i sure wil let him die in front me!!! @#$%^&(*&^%$#$%^&

life after spm~

actually i worry my life after spm..~
who can help me??
i dun even knw wat is my ambition...haizz
wat to do??
simply study a course to get a cert??

actually i wan to over a real true university life..
i duno did i have the qualification to dream this..
so i jz can escape this night mare by telling myself to wait for the result on march...
i knw this is not a good solution..
well....i going national service ma...nvm...can relax there first...

oh ya.. is it i can relax there?? actually i not really very worry my life in national service..
curry rice..roti canai..i think these foods all is much delicious than my original menu...
i knw maybe i shudn't say this, but is true..somemore i din hate the life i having now...
ya..i quite hard..quite tough....so wat??stil can stand up..still can have spm exam get result...
i knw is better than many ppl else...

hope is a good life there~

after spm~

hmmm..my feel....is jz normal..
ya, happy..i felt happy after i finishED my last paper...
but...i didn't shout loudly.. y? i duno..
within spm's exam daysssss, actually i stil the same..
stil the same as i taking my monthly test..
i have no such feeling of very very panic, worry... ...
no "very very" but got a little bit la...of course..
but i felt very fed-up (until nw stil duno hw to spell this word) actually..
maybe too much of exam in my sch...so i felt exam jz normal test lor...spm also normal d..
is it i give up my future??i duno..i also blur..
but i dun think so..bcoz i knw i got try my best...bcoz i knw i stil pain when i cant ans the paper...
however, i din cry for it..i din die for it..maybe this is wat elderest's ppl said big big girl edi....
maybe maybe...
but... ...
that day i went out with fren to the cinema, the counter ppl asked me : " cukup umur tak?" (got under age?) my god...it is PG13.. i din misunderstood the meaning of PG13 rite??
but y?? duno is it a good things.... if i knw that earlier, maybe i could buy a children ticket...cheaper wat....haizzz

他..

而他，我看不起你！！
这一切都因你而起！！
你太令我失望了。。
你很懦弱。。
是因为我比你懦弱吗？
所以一直以来你都不是这样的。。
现在的你，很懦弱。。

我很鄙视你！

你竟然愿意被侮辱！

你竟然因为不要被骂而继续！

你竟然告诉我你的现实是要荣华富贵!

你竟然因为人家的主动不想拒绝！

你竟然背叛我。。你知道吗？

你并不成熟。。虽然你常说我不成熟。。

你所说的每个字，我仔细地了解。。

你很无知。。其实你并不爱她。。

不过现在或许日久深情，你已爱上她。。
。。。