5sibling~

when ppl asked about my family members..
actually i felt proud to say that i have 5sibling included me..
since i was young, until now as a teen..

but i saw the different actually..
i'm sad..i'm down..
when there is a problem, actually 5sibling are not much enuf to handle it..
when there is a problem, i found that we are too less to face the problem..
i counted, 1 solve a, 2solve b, 3solve c, 4solve d.. efghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz? who gonna solve it??

pre U life~

i like to called myself as a pre university student..
as this can show that i'm getting much bigger elder n higher..
actually i didn't know that y did i chose such way..
the road never taken.. i miss u actually..
but i knw i had walked for a distance...
i forced myself not to make a U turn..
i knw im front there stil got another short cut to go..
but i tell myself not to go there..
i wish to enjoy the way i walk along this road..
i'm happy now.. even thought i hurt by many roots n leaf..
but i knw those scar wil let me grow much bigger..

on the way going, i met a lot of travellers too..
i met some senior who already travelled for 1year..
they shared their experience..
they taught me alot..
i wont forget them until my life end..

besides that, those travellers are also friendly to know about..
we share we joy while we walking in the journey..
i wil continue my journey.. yes, i will!!

waiting~

u knw that i wont wait for ur return..
as i knw that u wont return too..
from that day u told me u wont, i tel myself i wont wait too..
u always break ur promise..
since the first day we started, until the last day we ended..

do u stil rmbr?
that day when u came back..
u told me.. or i shud say that u asked me to...
u asked me to wait for u..
u tel me all the bad things that u faced from ur new girl..
u tel me that u wil leave her as fast as u can..
are my heart happy? no, sorry..
i din even happy..as i din wanted u to come back too..
but i felt happy when u realised that i'm better than her..
that is enuf..enuf to relief my pain..
my pain.. from the last day u hurt me with her good n benefits..
all the hurt had been relief after u realised..

anyway, i wont wait for ur return..
i didn't start for another relation, doesn't mean that i miss u..
jz means that i understood the consequence for every relation..

u din made me angry..
u din made me cry..
u din have such big influence as u thought..

from our photo~

suddenly, i refer back to my friendster account..
i saw alot of photos.. alot of memory recall me..
so happy to get back my old photo which i lost last time..
but..
when i click in a private folder...
i saw our photo inside..
yes, i haven delete the album yet..
y i din did so? i dont know.. and i dunwan to knw too..
but when i saw each photo, my heart seems like talking somethings to me..
the heartbeat is abnormal.. but i knw its not the beat that called miss..
i knew that i already put it off..put it down..even thrown..
but i stil save the album..maybe is jz for memory..
maybe?? not.. its true that is for memory~

our photo recalled our happy moment along that 1 and a half year..
r we that close? unable to remind myself..
i miss that sweet n close feeling..
but i not miss u..

NS's life~

hmmm...wat to say..
in NS i found that i changed much..

first of all, i knw many new fren by my own..
as u all who knw me know that i'm a person who duno or anti social~
something like that la.. but on the first day i went to camp, i can make fren easily..

maybe bcoz everyone also alone there n need a fren..
so as our target is the same, then we made frenzz..
so glad i met some of the best fren..
some of them is from klang too..

but i quite sad n disappointed that i cant knw more fren from other places..
as i knw, the camp only received students from selangor, kl and perak~

wat the XXXXXXXX.. the camp's location at perak but stil got perak ppl got choose to perak camp.. so every week their parents wil visit them n make us felt jealous~
shit! but nvm la.. when their parents came, we wil tumpang kasih n eat with them..haha >.<

ok..i think the most benefits for us is.....is we got free lunch there..
everythings we ate are free~haha ^^ the activities actually not bad la..

but if wan us kawad under the sun with the thick askar wear........................
it really changed everyone to darknessssss...not only the skin dark~the mental of us also dark~~
fainting all the time..
even wearing nice baju kebudayaan, we need to kawad too..ya la, disiplin~
so far so good lor~

hmmm..the place we sleep stil clean n neat..good~
the toilet~~~~~~ok lor.. "mei hiam beh pai" "ai hiam kanasai" lehhhhh ~

my frenzzz!!!! miss u all...

hey, my frenzzz.. i really miss u all very much...
haiz...in NS..... i felt myself changed much..
really hope that my fren wont forgot me~
that day i got my phone n sms one of my fren..
she (jing) said that she so miss me.. that second i really felt touch..~
i really miss all of u..
i felt so sad..bcoz i couldn't celebrate my cny with all of u..
so wasted..~ need to blame my NS~
the holiday gave to us are so less..only 4days..
wat to do....i need to back my hometown in penang~
so i straight from my camp back to penang..but then no time to return klang d..
sry my fren.. i really miss all of u and wish to meet u all..
but so sry.. i cant... the time not allow..
i also din apply for longer holiday~
bcoz 17feb we wil start M16!!!!yeahhhh~
i dunwan to miss this chance..
i being that black now i think is worth if i got M16 b4..rite??
hope u all wont forgot me n wont blame me...
duno hw u all's life for the past 1month..
i jz knw that my life in NS is the same everyday..and i already suit myself in it d..
fren....miss u all a lot...

something about love~

i felt somethings after my spm..
i felt i had grow up..be more mature...
when i tidy up our memory, i remembered many things..
i felt last time is a childish game.. is an immature game..
but i felt after this love, i having a tough mission to back into true love...
i changed..
i forgot him..really..i did it...
i dun care him..
i can live without him..from begining i did it too..
i love myself so much..
i dress up myself..
i care my image..
i proved to myself finally that i really put down every sadness or hateness..
yeah~~!!!

happy?? yaya^^

somemore..........i felt something.... i miss him....erm..maybe cannot use miss..but i wish to have a even higher level of relationship with him....

happy go lucky^^ yahoooooorayyyyy!!!