A simpe quote~

a quote that i heard more than 3times from the different person~

"i had never been seeing you for a long time"

what is the meaning behind these words?
from the three person that namely my friend..

they never wanted much from me, but just a simple talk will do...
honestly, i do enjoy the conversation..
but when it goes abit more deep inside, i walk a step behind..
yup, i'm the one who never walked out from the darkness..ever..
maybe this is the meant of not on the right time..

until the day i met him and i speak to him...
regret to say that he is not the one who telling me this quote..
or i should say that it's better not for him to give me the hope...
and it should end up like this.. --end--

miss you badly~

that was the day you give me a call..
that was the day i never think of u at all..
that was the day i missed him..very much...
and you were with him on that day..
"hello" when i answering ur phone call..
no doubt, i'm sad why you are the one to speak..
i know..i understand..
he will not be the one to call..
he will not be the one that miss on me..
he will not be the one who care about me anymore..

i wonder...
am i thought too much from the start?
am i put too much feeling to blind up my eyes?
am i open my heart to wide on you?
why u gave me such feeling from the start?
did you realised about it?
or it's just the normal way u did on anyone else?
there are too much question i wish to get the answer from you..
and i know it wont be a good ending...
but why are you treating me good in the first?
why are you disappear again after that?
i miss you like crazy whenever i think of it..
i saved every single message from you..
i read each of it everytime and guessing your feeling...

seriously, i never felt this before after him ='(

Cried....again...why...

Feeling I'm so weak...but that kind of lack of energy....
But that kind ppl say as a bubble? Breaks when touch?
Hard to describe...but I know u get it as well...
The level or limit of my tears are low...
I cried out easily...is it means that I had kept it for too long?
Am I?
I wonder....
Dunno who to share it...
I'm seriously down down down...low low low....
Am I looked so easy to be bully?
Yes....
Am I looked like a child?
I tot i did changed to mature?
Am I looked pity enuf?
No...u never symphaty on me!!!
Am I innocent enuf?
I tried...

U...u.....u....mr razak....irate u..
I treat u with great manner, u giving me a corner to go....
Are u killing me?
I apologize for a manner meant, u think is a joke?!
I speake out the truth that u might meet it in ur future too....
U not qualified ok?!
Why am I able to scolding u bitch but pretend ok I front of u?
I'm not pretending but I can't show off these feeling...why....
I really felt I'm too easy to be cheated...
I know is a lie but I did symphaty for u...am I?
Felt hopeless to myself after this situation....
I had made my sister worries about me..
Tot I'm learning to be independent...why I'm not at all...
Am I really so stupid?
Am I really lack of so many knowledge?
Am I having a low eq?
Tel me please....
Why am I so weak to be....

I hope I wil be safe...
I hope he din duplicate my ic...
I hope he din act stupid job with my ic....
I hope I'm fine...
I hope my parents won't know about it....
I hope they stil feeling I'm great....
I hope I won't be worried by them...
I hope my dad not going to tell me go home and he wil work for me...
I hope I can earn myself some money...
I hope I can really life myself...
I hope I won't cry...
I hope I can do better....
But, I cried....
I know I had disappointed myself...
I'm sad of myself....
Honestly.......I hate my own...
I hate when I'm weak....
I hate when ppl started to bully me and I started to cry...
I hAte when I kind...
I hate, seriously..........
I'm hurted....
I wish to speak it out....
I wish to shout....
I had failed to find a place as this........

Boss

I felt sad..
This is the beginning...
Oh, nope..is ending of today...15of march......

Started with cheers, with happiness, with nice mood I had....
And it started....that's why I blip always...
Once u had happy for a long time, u wil pay it back...
U wil then sad for the same duration...seriously...it's karma...

I tot is a good ending....without boss around....
How come he came back at the last half hour...
And he asked me to do such normal routine work in these last minutes...
U know my phone rang..U act nothing?!
I have no ot to claim ehhh! And u hold me for half an hour...
Ur salary more than mine for big amount...
Ur allowance allowed u to have a place to stay...
Ur benefits make u to own a car....
And u wanted my half hour! Ok, fine....
You're boss, I shut up, right?
U never appreciate me...you're jz trying to choose the none from an egg....
Hey, please la, I dont voice out during working time....
But now is over...I told u that not written by me.. U can't blame me!
U insist to! Fine again.... U doesn't felt ur fault...
U r jz thinking that u wanna teach me..ok, I stood!
I try my best to forgive u in this thinking...bcoZ u r my boss too..............

bloggieeee

I wish I'm writing the days that I had over puchong...
I wish I'm writing the days I enjoying my first full time job...
I wish I'm finding here some sort of diary..
But I failed to do it all...
I dun have a space...
I means....I dun have a good laptop..I can't excess Internet...
The only way is to borrow...to wait...
And so I did...
In the midnight time....
I started to type...
For today.........

喜欢一个人

是否喜欢一个人，你会看看他的状况？
你会收着他的简讯？
你会在空闲时候回顾他所发给你的简讯？
你会很期待他主动的给你发简讯？
你会很开心如果他出现？
你会对着他的简讯傻笑？
你会偷偷说他坏话好让他不察觉你喜欢他？
你会在人家称赞他时多加一口？那就没人怀疑了吧？
你会赞同他说的一些明知的事实？
你会更开心如果你们有共同的话题？
你会替他高兴？
你会注意着他的存在？
你甚至会常到 fb 看看他最近的行程？
你。。。。
会这样吗？



但是我发现这个人赢不了我想念的他。。
当我发现我在怀念。。

There are some best pharses in one of the video I found....

¥ 他说：＂你会遇到更好的他。＂ 你说：＂但我不会再对人那么好了。＂

¥ 如果你会不经意地想起我，请别忘记我曾那样深深地爱过你。。

¥ 我真的还爱你，闭上眼，以为我能放下，但流下的眼泪，却骗不了自己。。

¥ 不爱的爱情，永远不会变坏，所以我们暧昧却不相爱。。


希望只是因为缘分不够时机未到吧。。
不想想太多，可是一切一切都太值得我去深入了解。。
有时候无聊会让人想更多。。
所以就让我忙碌下去吧！